Stand-Up Guy

Imagine a huge clothing store for women. Lois was excited. I was supportive. They had this cool mirror that made me look taller! I got… distracted. Suddenly she’s gone. Vanished! I don’t dare search. I could get sucked into some lingerie area and die of mortification. A saleslady came up to me, despite my prayers. Her southern accent was sweet as tea. “May I help you?” “I’ve lost my wife.” “Afraid I can’t help you, sugar. Perhaps you’d like to join those other despondent husbands on ‘The Bench’ over there.” It was horrific. Four old guys (50-plus) slumped over, staring at their phones, barely breathing. One guy’s shirt had drool on it. “Man. I don’t wanna be those guys.” “I understand. Perhaps you’d like our “Husband Holding Area.” These are men who want to be “go-with” guys, they just don’t have the stamina. Bingo. So, I stood in this little roped-off area with other well-meaning guys. They had golf on TV to make us feel normal. Soon Lois returned. “Miss me?” She cooed lovingly with her giant garment bag. “Absolutely!” I sighed, a tear rolling down my cheek. “Just in time! One more minute of golf and I might’ve succumbed to “The Bench.” Never! “Husbands, love your wives.” Ephesians 5:25