Mike Harper
89.5 KVNE Mornings

Please take my advice. Take a five-year-old to the beach. I guarantee you’ll be glad you did. If you don’t have a five-year-old, get permission and take somebody else’s.

It’ll take time, but time is essential to the bonding required to fully retain the life lessons. It actually doesn’t even have to be the beach. But if you’re going to spend long periods of time with a five year old, why not spend it someplace awesome?

The following are five crucial life lessons from spending many days at the beach with someone younger than most of my shirts.

Life Lesson #1: Actually, you’re not five.

We called it our “Five-Year-Old Trip.” It was all about him. So when we took inventory of the snacks for the road, it went like this: Milk, check. Juice, check. Cheese, check. But when I chimed in, “Pops’ cookies, check,” I was quickly corrected. “Um, Pops? Actually, you’re not five.”

Life Lesson #2: Six-year-old girls will chase you.

We talked about friends. But he told me, “I don’t like six-year-old girls.” When I asked why, and he explained, “When me and Chad and Wesley and Tanner were playing…”

Life Lesson #3: Burglar Brothers security requires laser beams.

Safety is critical. So when you’re building traps for burglars, use whatever household items are necessary to secure your residence. Rope, string, and rubber bands are handy. But many don’t account for those pesky “Burglar Brothers” who can complicate to your security challenges. You must get creative.

Life Lesson #4: Your 5-year-old might be a robot.

My grandson called me into the next room. His tone was serious, and he didn’t want Granny to know. I said “What is it?” He looked to the left and to the right, leaned in and whispered, “I’m a robot.” I said “Really?” He said “Yes.” Then he asked if I was surprised. I said “No, I’m just a bit taken aback. But I think Granny should know.” He consented with one stipulation. That I “break it to her easy.”

Life Lesson #5: To keep your life in perspective, binge-watch Peppa Pig.

5) The coolest cartoon on the planet is Peppa Pig. All the characters speak with a British accent, and when ever Peppa Pig and his family and friends laugh, they do not just laugh, but they always FALL ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING.

This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to learning about the world through the eyes of a child. Your five-year-old, or your borrowed one, can offer insight into what’s important. And what’s important? He is.

Because, after all, he’s only five once.

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