We know life is short. So why does a one minute traffic light feel like eternity?

Give a kid a $5 toy and watch her yawn. Watch her brother want it and suddenly its value soars!

Everybody thinks the best music is from the year they were 13.

There comes a point where every man loses his ability to dance.

People who complain about other drivers are talking about you.

I’m on my phone more than I think I am.

Nobody has enough storage.

I can’t live up to my own standards.

If someone says they only need ten minutes, don’t believe them.

Always leave five minutes early in case you get there and there’s a good song on the radio.

Everyone’s spouse is their better half.

All teams’ seasons end sad. Only one team is happy, and just for one day. Then “next year” starts.

Nobody admits when they’re mad.

Don’t worry what others think. They’re not.

Everyone needs an annual review.

The hardest thing to do is listen more than talk.

Leave some time in your day for nothing. It’ll fill up with something.

When your world is crumbling, a nap can’t hurt.

“Follow your heart” is the worst piece of advice. The heart is deceitful.

Everyone has super powers. Use them for good.