Mike Harper
89.5 KVNE Mornings
This is not what you’re thinking. This message has been screened, filtered, patted down, and passes muster for a Christian website. If you’d like to read the first edition of “Potty Talk,” simply click here!
When you have young grandkids, the “potty” is major theme of conversation. It’s right up there with “mine” and “Can I play with your iPad?”
We were at church, and 4-year-old Owen had to go. One of my grandfatherly privileges is being the guy who “goes with” to the potty. What I didn’t expect were the interesting and sometimes awkward conversations we’d have while in said “potty.”
Allow me to set the scene. Guys know this. It’s all about “business” in there, and I don’t mean “monkey.”
You go, you wash, you go. Nobody talks in there. Nobody, that is, except Owen.
I did have to establish some brief ground rules regarding stall assignments.
- You go in this one, I’ll go in that one.
- If you get done before me, don’t leave. Wait right here.
- Got it.
Well, of course he was done in about 20 seconds, and he proceeded to give me the play-by-play.
The following is almost exactly verbatim of how it went down in the crowded, and otherwise silent, potty (with excellent acoustics, I might add!):
“Pops?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m done.”
“Ok, wait right there.”
“I’m wipin’.”
“Ok.”
“I’m standin’ up.”
“Good.”
“I’m pullin’ up my underwear.”
“Good boy.”
“I’m pullin’ up my pants.”
“That’s great.”
“I can see your red shoes.”
Hmm? I paused, a little confused, because I wasn’t wearing red shoes. Then came the deep voice of the man whose stall he thought I was in.
“Those are my red shoes.”
I came out, and his eyes were wide. Neither of us said a word. We just washed up and got out of there. Then we laughed really hard.
If that man is reading this, my apologies if that was weird for you.
Wait a minute, of course that was weird for you! But it marked yet another memorable chapter in “The Adventures of Grand-parenting!
“Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him.” — Psalm 127:3
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