Home < The Marriage Series: The Newlywed (Non) Fairy Tale

The Marriage Series: The Newlywed (Non) Fairy Tale

Posted on November 4, 2013
By Nikki Martinez

With time, a picture, a book, and a song can be worked on, shifted, shaped, and turned into something absolutely gorgeous. But while most people see the fantastic end result, what was missed and only known to the artist, the author, the musician was the hours of frustration…the re-writes…the restlessness…the moments where they just wanted to give up!

It was hard work that brought about a treasure for all to take in with awe. Which is how I want my marriage to be, and yours can too. Look around at the marriages that have stood the test of time in your life. That set of grandparents who still look with love at each other. Those parents who have gone triple-bypass surgeries and lost jobs. Your sister and brother in law who’ve gone through arguments you thought would crush them…until they realized a lot of inward pain needed to be dealt with and not taken out at each other.

Eli Dummer, lead singer of The City Harmonichit on the head what most newlyweds or even engaged couples are never informed about if no one is real with them:

Eli--City Harmonic



“That first year of marriage, no matter how good it starts to go and what great things come out of it, is Hard Work. You have to be ready for hard work throughout the marriage–it’s what makes the good times great!” ~Eli, 10 years married


So why is it so hard for us to understand, or even want to believe? Well, when you have thoughts like, ” The movies never told us marriage would be hard work!” or “The fairy tales always ended with ‘And they lived happily ever after!,'” there’s bound to be a little disappointment that follows. But this shouldn’t frighten, scare, or worry you reading this. Just as described with the works of art, with time and a never-giving-up attitude (from BOTH parties), beauty and amazing moments can come from the 1st, 5th, 15th, or 50th year of marriage. Just as we grow as individuals, maturing with experiences watched, heard, and learned personally, we can grow as a couple, as long as both are on the same page. 


My prayer is that years from now, not only can I look back on the post, but you can too, both of us smiling and knowing full-well, the Hard Work paid off!


Honesty Corner: What was the HARDEST thing you had to admit to yourself during that first year of marriage? Feel free to comment below ~Nikki 🙂


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